Jenner's Girlfriend. #TeamJenner

It's #TeamJenner month and we're going to make some hawt noise by introducing my new fanfiction titled "Jenner's Girlfriend." Enjoy? Enjoy!

Jenner: I did not hit her, it's bulls**t. I did not hit her. I did nawt. Oh hi, Sullivan!

Sullivan: Oh hi, Jenner. What's new in the hood?

Jenner: I got that Justin fellow making moves on my girl. Who does he think he is? He pulls that look on every female in the colony. And then they fall in love with the guy, who has no redeeming values I might add. I mean, I'm the OG in the council chamber swinging my cape around with subtlety. He just dances around and looks at women like he's about to eat them like a cheeseburger.

Sullivan: I see.

Jenner: And my girl, she's accusing me of hitting her. I mean, I've treated her like a damn queen. I let her have my jewel. Man, I would've gotten that rat bastard and had her all to myself if I didn't randomly get stabbed in the back by an unknown a-hole.

Sullivan: I....couldn't imagine who would've done that.

Jenner: Anyway, life in hell treating you okay?

Sullivan: Yea, but the Redemption Sector has got us flogging ourselves over and over again with dried spaghetti. It's kinda funny that I enjoy that stuff despite, y'know, this being our eternal punishment and all.

Jenner: Wait, aren't Redeemers supposed to be those who, y'know, redeemed themselves before they died?

Sullivan: Uh....

Jenner: But you couldn't possibly have....Unless......You son of a...

Sullivan: Wait..wait...! I am supposed to be resurrected on the Ides of March, I'll let you take my place!

Jenner: But why would you do such a thing? I mean we liked to French kiss outside the counsel chamber before I met her and had aspirations for world domination. How could you!? You're just jealous of my girl, admit it!

Sullivan:! I just...well.

Jenner: Yes?

Sullivan: I love Justin.

Jenner: What?!

Sullivan: He gave me that look too...and...and...we would make out in that tiny hole underneath the Fitzgibbon kitchen while the cat would bang his head on the wall trying to catch us, his constant screaming giving us ecstasy. It was so romantic.

Jenner: I...

Sullivan: I would've told you sooner, it's just...

Jenner: And he's the one that's going to resurrect you...with my jewel no doubt.

Sullivan: Please spare me and take my place.

Jenner: Indeed.

Ides of March, Justin begins the resurrection ritual

Justin: You'll love Sullivan, my darling. He knows how to get to one's heart.

Mrs. Brisby: I know, it's just...he tried to kill my children...and...

Justin: Come on, you know that was an accident.

Mrs. Brisby: No that's not all...he...

Jenner appears and takes the stone from Justin

Justin: Wha?

Jenner: Stop making moves on my woman, you pervert!

Jenner lashes out the stone towards Justin. Justin ducks and the stone hits Mrs. Brisby, giving her the energy needed to send Jenner back to hell.

Jenner: AHHHHHHHH! We'll meet again! I'll get you all!

Jenner returns to hell and falls on a hippo

Jenner: My girl! I'll get my girl back!

Hippo: Sugah, I'll be your girl!

Jenner: Nooooooooooooooooo!

Hippo: Don't you worry hun, I'll woop you up good!

Jenner: Well, at least I don't have to be around that sexual predator, Justin anymore.

Justin: Looking for me?

Jenner: Huh?...Justin!

Hippo sits on Justin

Jenner: That's my girl!

They continue torturing Justin for eternity by having the hippo sit on him while she and Jenner make out



  • For those that are curious, I just wanted Justin to be sat on by a hippo, so I wrote a story that I spent 15 minutes on to accommodate that desire.

  • Also, I'll admit, I find it romantic/ship culture kinda funny, especially in this case where the only hint of romance between Justin & Mrs. B. is Justin looking like he's about to eat her. I mean, do what you want, but I'll have Justin get hippo butt for the rest of his days. See if his smile and charm will do him good down there!

  • This is hilarious. If NIMH were more popular, maybe we would have fangirls like these.

    No #TeamJustin FTW!

  • Y'know, I feel kinda bad that one of the US presidential candidates is pretty much Jenner in human form while I've been making a cult following of Jenner. Jenner is obviously evil and I've been joking around, but I still feel kinda bad.

    Actually, Jenner isn't as bad as Trump, so I shouldn't beat myself up too much about a fictional character that I jokingly made into a meme, but whatevs.

    In my heart, there is a fragile, loving soul in Jenner. He probably got made fun of in school for looking like a stereotypical Disney villain and took it upon himself to become one. Again, fictional character with minimal backstory, I can make him as tragic as I'd like. He's also a hawt guy. Okay, not as hawt as Nick Wilde. Actually, screw it. Nick Wilde is the new animated furry character I will make into a meme. #TeamWilde

    Somehow I think erotic fanfiction of Jenner and Wilde exists on the web, but I'm not gonna look for it. I'm too sane for that. Meaning my insanity has limits.

  • Please keep politics out of this fandom.

  • @Azathoth43 said: Please keep politics out of this fandom.

    Fine, I'll keep real life politics out of this fandom. But, y'know, politics and policy are one of the facets of the Rats of NIMH, which could parallel with real life. But I'll respect that people are kinda sick of it.

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