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It's #TeamJenner month and we're going to make some hawt noise by introducing my new fanfiction titled "Jenner's Girlfriend." Enjoy? Enjoy!
Jenner: I did not hit her, it's bulls**t. I did not hit her. I did nawt. Oh hi, Sullivan!
Sullivan: Oh hi, Jenner. What's new in the hood?
Jenner: I got that Justin fellow making moves on my girl. Who does he think he is? He pulls that look on every female in the colony. And then they fall in love with the guy, who has no redeeming values I might add. I mean, I'm the OG in the council chamber swinging my cape around with subtlety. He just dances around and looks at women like he's about to eat them like a cheeseburger.
Sullivan: I see.
Jenner: And my girl, she's accusing me of hitting her. I mean, I've treated her like a damn queen. I let her have my jewel. Man, I would've gotten that rat bastard and had her all to myself if I didn't randomly get stabbed in the back by an unknown a-hole.
Sullivan: I....couldn't imagine who would've done that.
Jenner: Anyway, life in hell treating you okay?
Sullivan: Yea, but the Redemption Sector has got us flogging ourselves over and over again with dried spaghetti. It's kinda funny that I enjoy that stuff despite, y'know, this being our eternal punishment and all.
Jenner: Wait, aren't Redeemers supposed to be those who, y'know, redeemed themselves before they died?
Jenner: But you couldn't possibly have....Unless......You son of a...
Sullivan: Wait..wait...! I am supposed to be resurrected on the Ides of March, I'll let you take my place!
Jenner: But why would you do such a thing? I mean we liked to French kiss outside the counsel chamber before I met her and had aspirations for world domination. How could you!? You're just jealous of my girl, admit it!
Sullivan: No...no! I just...well.
Sullivan: I love Justin.
Sullivan: He gave me that look too...and...and...we would make out in that tiny hole underneath the Fitzgibbon kitchen while the cat would bang his head on the wall trying to catch us, his constant screaming giving us ecstasy. It was so romantic.
Sullivan: I would've told you sooner, it's just...
Jenner: And he's the one that's going to resurrect you...with my jewel no doubt.
Sullivan: Please spare me and take my place.
Ides of March, Justin begins the resurrection ritual
Justin: You'll love Sullivan, my darling. He knows how to get to one's heart.
Mrs. Brisby: I know, it's just...he tried to kill my children...and...
Justin: Come on, you know that was an accident.
Mrs. Brisby: No that's not all...he...
Jenner appears and takes the stone from Justin
Jenner: Stop making moves on my woman, you pervert!
Jenner lashes out the stone towards Justin. Justin ducks and the stone hits Mrs. Brisby, giving her the energy needed to send Jenner back to hell.
Jenner: AHHHHHHHH! We'll meet again! I'll get you all!
Jenner returns to hell and falls on a hippo
Jenner: My girl! I'll get my girl back!
Hippo: Sugah, I'll be your girl!
Hippo: Don't you worry hun, I'll woop you up good!
Jenner: Well, at least I don't have to be around that sexual predator, Justin anymore.
Justin: Looking for me?
Hippo sits on Justin
Jenner: That's my girl!
They continue torturing Justin for eternity by having the hippo sit on him while she and Jenner make out